Once upon a time there was a family
Having seven children was not an accident. I love children and
think they are the greatest gift from God that anyone can have. I
always valued children above any material toy that other people would
buy. Other people pursued after money, careers, and leisure toys
and vehicles but I felt I had the greater of treasures. Their treasures
depreciated, mine did not and won’t. I can (if I did my job right)
take my treasure with me to heaven.
I grieve to think that I initially through ignorance
exposed my family to the Church, that eventually tore us apart. During the cultish
destruction I cringe at all the abuse that they were forced to experience
because of the exposure. I was deceived on some of the mistakes
I made but also it was a lot different in the mid to late 90’s. A
lot of rules were revealed and other rules added as the years progressed.
My wife I feel is deceived and is following blindly.
But the brighter years were before I was pressured
into moving to Kenosha. I
enjoyed my family daily. When we lived in Stone Lake, WI I
had several animals which we all enjoyed. The children laughed
at enjoying seeing the animals in the house. A few times I even
made company laugh by bringing into our house my full-grown horse. I
gave the children rides often on horseback. I used to give them
rides on my own back in the house. I felt compelled as my duty
to make my children laugh. Laughter was what I lived for and instilled
it into serious things.
One time my wife was in the bedroom nursing the baby. I
went to her secretly and had her hide a tape recorder and mic and told
her my plans. Then I went into the living room where my children
were playing. I
said, “Hey, lets do something fun!”. I started dumping over furniture,
jumped on the couch (which nobody was supposed to do), threw this, stuck
out my tongue, playfully slapped some of the up, and carried on goofy
for about 2-3 minutes, ending up with all things back in place again. They
were in hysterical laughter. When I finished I sent one by one
to Mommy in the bedroom. Unknowing to them she was recording them.
I told each of them to go and tell Mommy what happened. When it
was done Mommy cam out with the tape recorder, and they laughed as we
played it back to them.
I then said, “Children, lets look at something in
the Bible”. Mathew,
Mark, Luke, and John are the 4 books that appear to repeat the same stories
over and over again. Why? I told them that those four books
are actually people that wrote their experience of what Jesus did. They
all are a little bit different.
Now lets look at this tape. You all seen what I did at the same
time. But why did only Randy mention that I first turned the night
lamp on and off a few times real quick before softly throwing it on the
floor? Why did David say that I threw water in his face but nobody
else did? You all mentioned that I jumped on the couch but only
Rachel said that I threw the cushions then on the floor. That is
the reason all four books are slightly different.
All this love and enjoyment has ended when the Pastor
told my wife to leave me. I am thankful that Randy and David
had refused the cult too and wanted to stay with me. Without
them I dread to think how I would have faired being totally alone after
experiencing the joy of a large family. I didn't spend time away
from them to be with the “Guys” or the bars. I either worked
to support them or I was with them.
Randy – He is a quiet boy. He is a very “hands
on” type of person that can easily fit for any physical occupation. I
grieve to think of the damage the cult has inflicted on him. He
has a lot of bottled up anger toward Pat and Sue O’Shea for abusing him. He
longs for vengeance upon them and the legal system that has protected
them.
David- He is more of a people person.
He would “buddy” with me in ways that Randy would shy away from. One time I went
to their bedroom and Randy was all prepared and expecting that it was
David coming. I step in without knocking and get faced by Randy
with his fist cocked back ready to hit. He embarrassingly dropped
his fist and flustered but smiled. I laughed. But if it was
David that expected Randy and instead I appeared,….I would have gotten
punched. Now it is not in a disrespectful way but in a big brother love
tap. David is that sort of guy. He expresses his emotions
more then Randy. David is a better hugger. Randy has a better
working, providing capacity.
Rachel- My oldest daughter is very
loyal and submissive. She
was rarely in the need for discipline. I remember trying to train
my family to be on time to go places and the importance of it. I
read them the book of a yellow duck named “Ping” that was always late,
and therefore got punished. I joked with my children that we will
play that game and the last one in the van gets the paddle. It
was just like Rachel to say, “I will get up in the night, and go sit
in the van waiting for Church Service, she will do whatever to avoid
confrontation, kind of like her mother. One day I had to run back
in the house for something, and when I got back in the van, all my children
laughed and called me “Ping”.
Suzanna– Has a slightly less submissive
spirit. I
am not worried about her like I am about Rachel of being deceived. It
was her that I protected more often from the abuse the mother wanted
to give her. Not only Randy and David, but it was also Suzy that
got abused by the O’Sheas. Suzy is probably the greatest giggler
in my family. It is a joy to watch her laugh until she almost pees
her pants. She is tore between the teachings of the cult and how
she is told to act toward me, and just letting go and enjoying and loving
me.
Stephen– What a fun and carefree
boy, even how abused he was. I cringe at the memory tormenting
in my mind. Steve
seems to not have any self conscience. He does whatever is on his
mind. He has a great time in making everyone laugh at the goofy
things he does. He is very outgoing and adventurous. I feel
he misses me but gets a lot of influence from Pat O’Shea robbing me as
the father-figure.
Joel– Joey is a very quiet,
reserved boy. Calm
waters run deep. I believe he has a lot of thinking underneath
that calm surface. My past was just like that before I grew into
adulthood. Sad thing is the destruction of the cult on his life. The
Assistant Pastor one time beat him because Joey wasn't answering a question
he asked him. I was simply told of the incident when I got home in the
evening. Since I had been living in his house free of rent, it
was the automatic excuse and self=permission he gave himself to do it. If
I could get Joey away from them, I think he will be all right. Someday
he will break from his shyness the way I did at about 20 years of age.
Bethany– Now she is a package all
by herself. She is a very strong-willed child. I remember when
she was about 3-4 years old. As a family we went to a Church
meeting I think in Ohio. Many
young teenage girls wanted to hold her, but she demanded to be held by
her mother. My wife just told them to give her time that she will
“warm-up” later. Satisfied they all left. Once alone with
mommy, Betsy pipes up and says “I’m not going to warm-up!” She
got a lot of spankings in her life. She was the one whenever possible
to request to ride on my shoulders. I love giving all my children rides
including my 17 year old, Randy, when we are having fun. On the
4th weekend of February, was the last time I seen my 5 children. I
dropped them off at their mothers. It was Betsy that left me in
haste, then remembered something. She ran back into the van, leaned
close to me, and said “Bye” with both eyes blinking wildly. All
the children are living in devastation, all because some Pastor told
my wife to leave me. Why are my children and I deprived from each
other for his cause? Why can I only see them one and a half days
a month?
Shereen– She was my wife
for 18 years. I have not had a regret for marrying her. We had
a lot of fun times. I
enjoyed making her laugh. She was a good cook. She was a
loving mother until we got around the Cult. It was then her loyalty
being a strength, became her weakness. Her loyalty to me changed
to the Cult, and its teachings. Her abusive behavior, like I wrote
in the Child Abuse Article, developed after we moved to Kenosha. Her
sick behavior towards me and the children is part of the deception and
control the cult has on people. It is not godly, but yet they believe
it is. She accused and demanded many church rules upon me before
she would ever consider coming back to me. I told her that I only
have one demand on her, to take her back, and that is to divorce the
cult out of her life which included mentally and emotionally. She
said she can’t leave Jesus Christ for that is what I'm demanding of her. She
is spiritually and mentally sick.
Many people think I am crazy when they realize that
I still love her, after all that she has done to me. She has been nothing but cruel
to me. But it is not her, but the cult disease in her.
Would I take her back? Definitely, but with
mortifying the cult in a very obvious observance. She needs help.
I just haven’t given up on my fantasy of being one happy family again. The
question: will the courts work with or against me in that wish? I
miss my family more than my freedom. The Jail I can endure, but
not seeing my children is torture! Is there anyone that can help
to reclaim my greatest joy?